no, he isn't smiling

So, I've watched this video a hundred times today (give or take about 98) and I still don't get it any better than I did when it came out. Is Alan Rickman the ex or the new guy, and what does the ending mean, and also, what the fuck is up with the erotic dancing at the gas station? Please explain this to me. Dumb it down some.

Mostly I try not to think about the "real" people behind the characters in movies or on television. But for some reason, Alan Rickman just gets my ick factor up. A lot of it is probably knowing that there are thousands of girls out there who want to have lots of sex and babies with him (preferably in his Snape costume), and just the general thought of how... completely and utterly disgusting that idea is to me I don't quite understand that idea ending up in some barely legal girl's head, but I just can't help thinking about how it must make HIM feel, knowing that all these girls fantasize about doing all these naughty things with him.

And then I remember that he does stuff like this and I think he must not mind so very much.


PS. Who would win in a duel: Alan Rickman's Colonel Brandon or Colin Firth's Mr Darcy? Or would they just talk it out over a brandy like civilized Englishmen?