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lizzy_copycatI guess having two good episodes of Without a Trace in a row really is too much too ask, and I should've known that, but do they need to punish me for it?
(There's a very small chance that it looks so bad because last week it was so good, but I don't really care about that. They decide the order in which the episodes are shown. If they wanted this to have looked like it sucked less, they should've put it after Candy.
OMFG. That was awful. AWFUL.
I actually found myself LAUGHING at the awfulness of it. I'd actually recommend it to anyone, as an example of just how bad a good tv show can go. Anyone with dreams of doing anything in television should be forced watch it as a warning. If you're not careful, you'll end up making crap like THIS. So stay in school and become a bank teller. You won't regret it, I promise. And if you ever do, just watch Without a Trace.
The best thing I can say about it? It reminded me of those X-Files fanfics that so many people loved to write. It was a whole genre, MulderTorture or something. For just the briefest of seconds I found myself wishing someone would rewrite it and have Martin be the one who went undercover, so we could invent MartinTorture. But it would still suck. (Also, I can't imagine anyone who was willing to watch this crap enough to be able to rewrite it is anyone whose stories I would want to read.) Oh, yes, and Poppy saying "You have no idea what I'll do," or whatever it was. That was ALMOST believable. (I suspect that if I were to watch it again, I wouldn't think so, but compared to so much of Poppy's acting this season, it was pretty good.) But, yeah, I think I sort of do.
The plot was bad and so full of holes that Poppy could put it on and wear it for a dress.
My absolute favorite bit: (And by "favorite" I mean the thing that made me laugh the most because it was just so unbelievably ridiculously wrong in every way.) How Jack, who could barely speak from pain and being drugged when he was sitting, and who just pulled a nail through his right hand for absolutely no reason other than someone thought it would look cool, just had a couple of band-aids slapped on and then walked right out of there, talking to people and cracking jokes. (I'm assuming that's what it was supposed to be.) And then he still manages to do the "right" thing, or I'm sure that's how it was supposed to look, and doesn't tell the MP who the woman that just spend an afternoon torturing him really was. They must be magic band-aids, those. I want one. I mean, if it fixes the wound that comes from having a three inch nail shot into your chest, then I'm sure it could fix just about anything.
Jack just annoys me so much. Every time it looks like he'll get hurt I get all excited because I'm naive enough to think it'll mean we see LESS of him for the next couple of weeks, but no matter how stupid he is, or how much he's bruised and bleeding, he's always magically okay at the end of the episode. That doesn't make those pained expressions any more believable, it just makes me think you're being a drama queen. Stupid.
And why, oh why must Viv now also get the Slutty Ho disease? Elena AND Sam is really more than enough. We don't need any more cleavage than that. Sam's sluttiness confuses me a little. During a close-up of her, her make-up seemed pretty subtle, but then she insists on wearing those slutty clothes. Is EVERY day laundry day at Sam's house? Did someone STEAL her "good" clothes? What? Explain this to me, please.
Cynthia. I don't know where to start. Was she brought in to make Sam and Elena look less like slutty whores? Why the hell was she straddling Jack when she was supposed to be torturing him for information? Am I supposed to think that's all sexy? Or was it supposed to make him want to talk, because it's actually worse than having a nail shot through your arm? And if the MP was her SON, why did she look at him as if she wanted to fuck his brains out during that one scene where he told her they'd run away together? The one where the dialog sounded like something that would've been too cheesy for day-time television?
The scene with Viv, Jack and Martin discussing who should go undercover was SORT OF funny. If the rest of the episode hadn't stunk, it might've been better, because the way it was done, it looked totally out of place. Like Elena's office pool on how much money Jack would lose. (Which just proved that Sam should've been the one to go undercover if she hadn't been too fucked up to have any kind of responsibility this season.) It was like they were going completely overboard with the light atmosphere in the office, probably to put it in contrast with what happened to Jack. But the thing is, I don't give a fuck what happens to Jack because I like him best when he isn't around, so for me that didn't work at all.
I'm sure there's loads more I could bitch about, but I don't really want to dwell on it anymore. I want to just start the process of repressing this whole episode and move on with my life. I want to end on a positive note and say that at least it can only go up from here, but there are seven circles of Hell, so who's to say.
Footnotes:
I no longer think Poppy is pregnant. She looks less pregnant now than she did two-three weeks ago, so I'm not going to stress about it anymore. And it's not like the show isn't fucked up enough as it is, without having to deal with that.
I don't think they're going down the Jack/Sam route. I know a lot of Martin/Sam shippers are worried about that, but I just don't buy it. I mean, obviously TPTB don't care about Sam's character AT ALL so the fact that it would make HER look completely pathetic and door-mat-y won't matter, but it would make JACK look bad, and he's the hero, right? He went down that path once, and learned his lesson. Also, I just don't see it. In the scenes, I mean. Sure, there have been a lot of conversations, and I don't have a very good alternative explanation for that, but I don't see any attraction at all. Friendship? Sure. With benefits? Nope.
(There's a very small chance that it looks so bad because last week it was so good, but I don't really care about that. They decide the order in which the episodes are shown. If they wanted this to have looked like it sucked less, they should've put it after Candy.
OMFG. That was awful. AWFUL.
I actually found myself LAUGHING at the awfulness of it. I'd actually recommend it to anyone, as an example of just how bad a good tv show can go. Anyone with dreams of doing anything in television should be forced watch it as a warning. If you're not careful, you'll end up making crap like THIS. So stay in school and become a bank teller. You won't regret it, I promise. And if you ever do, just watch Without a Trace.
The best thing I can say about it? It reminded me of those X-Files fanfics that so many people loved to write. It was a whole genre, MulderTorture or something. For just the briefest of seconds I found myself wishing someone would rewrite it and have Martin be the one who went undercover, so we could invent MartinTorture. But it would still suck. (Also, I can't imagine anyone who was willing to watch this crap enough to be able to rewrite it is anyone whose stories I would want to read.) Oh, yes, and Poppy saying "You have no idea what I'll do," or whatever it was. That was ALMOST believable. (I suspect that if I were to watch it again, I wouldn't think so, but compared to so much of Poppy's acting this season, it was pretty good.) But, yeah, I think I sort of do.
The plot was bad and so full of holes that Poppy could put it on and wear it for a dress.
My absolute favorite bit: (And by "favorite" I mean the thing that made me laugh the most because it was just so unbelievably ridiculously wrong in every way.) How Jack, who could barely speak from pain and being drugged when he was sitting, and who just pulled a nail through his right hand for absolutely no reason other than someone thought it would look cool, just had a couple of band-aids slapped on and then walked right out of there, talking to people and cracking jokes. (I'm assuming that's what it was supposed to be.) And then he still manages to do the "right" thing, or I'm sure that's how it was supposed to look, and doesn't tell the MP who the woman that just spend an afternoon torturing him really was. They must be magic band-aids, those. I want one. I mean, if it fixes the wound that comes from having a three inch nail shot into your chest, then I'm sure it could fix just about anything.
Jack just annoys me so much. Every time it looks like he'll get hurt I get all excited because I'm naive enough to think it'll mean we see LESS of him for the next couple of weeks, but no matter how stupid he is, or how much he's bruised and bleeding, he's always magically okay at the end of the episode. That doesn't make those pained expressions any more believable, it just makes me think you're being a drama queen. Stupid.
And why, oh why must Viv now also get the Slutty Ho disease? Elena AND Sam is really more than enough. We don't need any more cleavage than that. Sam's sluttiness confuses me a little. During a close-up of her, her make-up seemed pretty subtle, but then she insists on wearing those slutty clothes. Is EVERY day laundry day at Sam's house? Did someone STEAL her "good" clothes? What? Explain this to me, please.
Cynthia. I don't know where to start. Was she brought in to make Sam and Elena look less like slutty whores? Why the hell was she straddling Jack when she was supposed to be torturing him for information? Am I supposed to think that's all sexy? Or was it supposed to make him want to talk, because it's actually worse than having a nail shot through your arm? And if the MP was her SON, why did she look at him as if she wanted to fuck his brains out during that one scene where he told her they'd run away together? The one where the dialog sounded like something that would've been too cheesy for day-time television?
The scene with Viv, Jack and Martin discussing who should go undercover was SORT OF funny. If the rest of the episode hadn't stunk, it might've been better, because the way it was done, it looked totally out of place. Like Elena's office pool on how much money Jack would lose. (Which just proved that Sam should've been the one to go undercover if she hadn't been too fucked up to have any kind of responsibility this season.) It was like they were going completely overboard with the light atmosphere in the office, probably to put it in contrast with what happened to Jack. But the thing is, I don't give a fuck what happens to Jack because I like him best when he isn't around, so for me that didn't work at all.
I'm sure there's loads more I could bitch about, but I don't really want to dwell on it anymore. I want to just start the process of repressing this whole episode and move on with my life. I want to end on a positive note and say that at least it can only go up from here, but there are seven circles of Hell, so who's to say.
Footnotes:
I no longer think Poppy is pregnant. She looks less pregnant now than she did two-three weeks ago, so I'm not going to stress about it anymore. And it's not like the show isn't fucked up enough as it is, without having to deal with that.
I don't think they're going down the Jack/Sam route. I know a lot of Martin/Sam shippers are worried about that, but I just don't buy it. I mean, obviously TPTB don't care about Sam's character AT ALL so the fact that it would make HER look completely pathetic and door-mat-y won't matter, but it would make JACK look bad, and he's the hero, right? He went down that path once, and learned his lesson. Also, I just don't see it. In the scenes, I mean. Sure, there have been a lot of conversations, and I don't have a very good alternative explanation for that, but I don't see any attraction at all. Friendship? Sure. With benefits? Nope.
